1. This morning I woke up under the kitchen table, there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where I guess it's penis would be, there were trail of cheezits around my apartment and I found $67 dollars in the crotch of my underwear. I'm guessing I had a very happy birthday. I don't remember any of it. 2. Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. My mom was not happy. 3. Birthday was great. I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be. 4. It wasn't great. It ended up with me crying outside the strip club. 5. Screw a car for my birthday. I just want a week brownie the size of my face. That's all. 6. The cop wrote "Happy Birthday" on the ticket.
Thanks for wielding your influence on my behalf. And believe me, I will not be telling them. Thanks for taking me out last night. I know I've been a little mopey.
Apparently I should stop getting you guys so drunk you get conduct tickets and “this is not the first time I’ve had to do this for you” blah blah jeez dad
You are very welcome I have done it a few times for people now, maybe, shhh it’s a secret I wanted you to have a nice birthday even if your mom made you come home and not go to see Will instead You have been a new kind of mopey and I like this one better
A few times! Like annually or recently? I did, even if I've yet to get out of bed. I think she likes mothering me through a hangover. Holly is at that stage where she's too independent and I think she misses looking after someone. Her big baby. This mopey has less self pity involved, but I feel like I talked about him all night. You can pinch me if I ever become that annoying friend that talks about their boyfriend non-stop.
Did someone or something make you cry or was it “oh god I don’t enjoy seeing women get naked” crying? Whatever option, do you want to talk about it? If not to me should I tell Lucas to call you later?
It was "what is wrong with me/this feels so wrong" crying. I had to wait until they were drunk enough to slip out without them noticing and lost it in the alley. My dormmate is going to be so pissed.
Well at least I don’t have to drive up and knock anyone out Just say you had to puke and it didn’t make it better when you did so you went home, I’m sure he’ll get over it if you play up the drunkenness
I love driving I just hate my car It’s a good cover story, you’ll be okay, Lucas used it once to his sports guys and got away with it
I mean I like women and I still think the industry is slimy and as much as women have every right to sell sex men shouldn’t be in charge of that so it’s not hot but that’s a whole feminist rant Which you probably don’t want to be in front of a sports team I’m sorry you had to add another check mark to the list of things that mean you probably don’t like women on your birthday though
I hate your car too. Nick's pretty cool. I don't think he'll give me a hard time about it, but when you add in other guys, it's always hard to gauge how things will go.
Yeah, though I agree. It was gross. I don't know why people get off on it. I mean, I don't know if this is definitive proof, but it definitely ticks in that direction. I like women, I just... I don't know. I think they're pretty and smart and they make dedicated and violent friends, but I haven't felt attracted to one in a long time.
I mean, I know what that should mean, but being gay is such a big thing. I don't want to say it unless I'm absolutely sure. I'd feel like such a fucking idiot if I'm just confused. What if I just haven't met the right girl yet? What if my feelings are just all screwed up because of all the shit we went through? What if I'm just broken and dumb?
Welcome to spending your birthday in Cleveland!! I have “stop buying my boyfriend shots” written on my arm in sharpie in Wills handwriting with “don’t it’s funny” underneath it in Whittys and I woke up in Barbie’s spare room with pizza sauce in my hair
I prefer the written instructions to the time they drew dicks all over my leg Oh I was probably trying to soak the alcohol up with pizza so I didn’t feel terrible this morning (it didn’t work) September 9th! I’m a Virgo :3
Will did that? I can't decide if it's better or worse that they were probably good. Yeah, I've taken the daily recommended dose of aspirin and am waiting for it to kick in. I'll write it down so I remember.
Yeah half of them were beautifully artistically rendered permanent marker penises all over my leg It did teach me that dish soap is the best way to fade sharpie off skin He’s a little shit (I love him) Well that’s a net positive! I’m trying to cook bacon without burning Barbies apartment to rubble and ash You’ll definitely be invited I can’t be on the wrong side of 25 and not get super wasted and cause chaos, panic and disorder that’s like Criminal
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Birthday Texts
Date: 2024-04-07 03:31 am (UTC)1. This morning I woke up under the kitchen table, there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where I guess it's penis would be, there were trail of cheezits around my apartment and I found $67 dollars in the crotch of my underwear. I'm guessing I had a very happy birthday. I don't remember any of it.
2. Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. My mom was not happy.
3. Birthday was great. I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
4. It wasn't great. It ended up with me crying outside the strip club.
5. Screw a car for my birthday. I just want a week brownie the size of my face. That's all.
6. The cop wrote "Happy Birthday" on the ticket.
1 of course
Date: 2024-04-07 03:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 03:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 03:54 am (UTC)But, maybe I am a little.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 05:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 10:00 am (UTC)Not that 20 is old. But you definitely know.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-08 03:30 am (UTC)But yea, I definitely get what you mean.
6
Date: 2024-04-07 08:20 am (UTC)You don’t need to do anything with the ticket I have already fixed it
Re: 6
Date: 2024-04-07 10:01 am (UTC)You are amazing. Thank you! My parents would drag me back home and kill me if they found out.
Well, Ted would.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 10:22 am (UTC)You’re welcome, I have influence in the Hawkins PD :)
So your family will never know unless you tell them
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 12:58 pm (UTC)Thanks for wielding your influence on my behalf. And believe me, I will not be telling them.
Thanks for taking me out last night. I know I've been a little mopey.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 01:34 pm (UTC)You are very welcome I have done it a few times for people now, maybe, shhh it’s a secret
I wanted you to have a nice birthday even if your mom made you come home and not go to see Will instead
You have been a new kind of mopey and I like this one better
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 02:48 pm (UTC)A few times! Like annually or recently?
I did, even if I've yet to get out of bed. I think she likes mothering me through a hangover. Holly is at that stage where she's too independent and I think she misses looking after someone. Her big baby.
This mopey has less self pity involved, but I feel like I talked about him all night. You can pinch me if I ever become that annoying friend that talks about their boyfriend non-stop.
(no subject)
From:4
Date: 2024-04-07 08:30 am (UTC)Whatever option, do you want to talk about it? If not to me should I tell Lucas to call you later?
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 10:06 am (UTC)I had to wait until they were drunk enough to slip out without them noticing and lost it in the alley.
My dormmate is going to be so pissed.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 10:27 am (UTC)Just say you had to puke and it didn’t make it better when you did so you went home, I’m sure he’ll get over it if you play up the drunkenness
So it was a sexuality crisis?
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 12:55 pm (UTC)Yeah, you're right. It was a bunch of his teammates that wanted to take me there. I didn't want to embarrass him.
I don't know. Everyone acted like it was so hot and it wasn't. I felt like I wasn't acting enough to fit in and they'd know.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 01:29 pm (UTC)It’s a good cover story, you’ll be okay, Lucas used it once to his sports guys and got away with it
I mean I like women and I still think the industry is slimy and as much as women have every right to sell sex men shouldn’t be in charge of that so it’s not hot but that’s a whole feminist rant
Which you probably don’t want to be in front of a sports team
I’m sorry you had to add another check mark to the list of things that mean you probably don’t like women on your birthday though
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 02:56 pm (UTC)Nick's pretty cool. I don't think he'll give me a hard time about it, but when you add in other guys, it's always hard to gauge how things will go.
Yeah, though I agree. It was gross. I don't know why people get off on it.
I mean, I don't know if this is definitive proof, but it definitely ticks in that direction. I like women, I just... I don't know. I think they're pretty and smart and they make dedicated and violent friends, but I haven't felt attracted to one in a long time.
I mean, I know what that should mean, but being gay is such a big thing. I don't want to say it unless I'm absolutely sure. I'd feel like such a fucking idiot if I'm just confused. What if I just haven't met the right girl yet? What if my feelings are just all screwed up because of all the shit we went through?
What if I'm just broken and dumb?
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:1
Date: 2024-04-07 08:40 am (UTC)I have “stop buying my boyfriend shots” written on my arm in sharpie in Wills handwriting with “don’t it’s funny” underneath it in Whittys and I woke up in Barbie’s spare room with pizza sauce in my hair
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 10:08 am (UTC)Except for the pizza sauce, which sounds very wrong.
Now I have to know your birthday so I can return the favor.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 10:33 am (UTC)Oh I was probably trying to soak the alcohol up with pizza so I didn’t feel terrible this morning (it didn’t work)
September 9th! I’m a Virgo :3
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 12:48 pm (UTC)Yeah, I've taken the daily recommended dose of aspirin and am waiting for it to kick in.
I'll write it down so I remember.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 01:21 pm (UTC)It did teach me that dish soap is the best way to fade sharpie off skin
He’s a little shit (I love him)
Well that’s a net positive! I’m trying to cook bacon without burning Barbies apartment to rubble and ash
You’ll definitely be invited I can’t be on the wrong side of 25 and not get super wasted and cause chaos, panic and disorder that’s like
Criminal